Funny Things

Funny Things Happened to Long-Nosed And Doper People

(Drug Head, Dope Fiend, Druggy)

Dopers: people who is high due to their smoking of marijuana or hash.

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A doper always lights 2 cigarettes and smoke them at the same time.
His friend asked him, “Why?”
He said, “One for me and one for my brother who is in prison.”
After a while, he begins to only light a cigarette.
His friends said, “Congratulation, your brother is out of prison.”
He said, “No, but I quit smoking.”
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There were two dopers camping in dessert living in a tent.
One doper asked the other “Do you have a lighter?”
He said, “No, but wait, I will search outside.”
The tent had two doors so, he got out from the right door
and after a minute he return to the other one
saying, “Hi, do you have a lighter?”
The first doper said, “Have a seat. My partner is searching.”
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There was a long-nosed man.
He was out on a picnic with some friends and they saw a lion,
so the man stood up and said, “I can capture him. It’s piece of cake.”
The guys know that he is a liar, so they challenged him.
They waited and waited.
After a while, the man returned running and screaming,
“Guys capture him! I’m going after another one. “
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A doper is driving a taxi
so he picks up someone at the airport.
He is driving very fast, and the red light is on ahead,
He passes it when it is red.
The passenger says “Hey, what’s your problem?”
The driver responds “I’m professional!”
After a while, there is another red light and he also passes though it when it is red.
The passenger says “Hey, what’s your problem?”
The driver responds “I’m professional!”
Then there is another red light, but he stops.
The passenger says, “Hey, why did you stop. It’s green!”
The driver responds, “You don’t know there might be professionals from the right or from the left.”
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Armed dopers captured a dude
and asked him, “Are you with us or with those?”
He said, “I’m with you!!!”
They said, “Bastard!, we are those!!!!”
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A son asks his doper father, “What is evil tower?”
The father, “I don’t know.”
The sun, “What is the ceramic?”
The father, “I don’t know.”
The sun, “What is the email?”
The father, “I don’t know.”
The mother said, “Don’t annoy your father!”
The father, “No, it’s ok, let him get some education.”
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HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboyand ..
Wife on the cover of "missing persons"
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A couple drove down a country road for several miles,not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument
and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."
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A man said to his wife one day,
"I don't know how> you> can be so stupid
and> so beautiful all at the same time.>
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God> made> me beautiful so you> would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid! so I> would be attracted to you!